i was looking forward to hearing back from my university i applied for my second year to see how they liked my portfolio, and this work i sent was the best i ever done, work which i havnt ever submitted work beyond what i thought i was capable at. i did recorded delivery thinking this was 100% safe as its insured and id get 400 pounds if it went missing/. but i didnt want the money that i insured it from i jsut wanted it to be safly delivered, any hows back to my story lol, i kept emailing the uni why i havnt gotten a response, then they told me they didnt have my work and i couldnt belive it as i told them i did recorded delivery it must b there, so they checked and couldnt find it!!, and i felt holloy as in like i felt empty how could my work possibly go missing i felt like apsalutle shit i felt worthless usless i dont even want to remmber ^^, but i felt it and i was devestated my work got stolen, then i went to the postal servaces and tryed everything i could i was there evry day for a week trying something new asking something new, that portfolio was more then work to me its my future its my chance i cant explain how hard i worked to create that portfolio i cant even show you what was in it but its gone now and they told me i can only get hat i insured for it and my work is probably getting bought of in a acution or something. i dont want money i want the hours days months of dedication of work i did. yes i can restart all over again and thats what i have to do im taking a gap year to recreate work for my second year its utter bullswhit but thats how i have to face it lol i dont kno why i wrote this probably to help me come to terms but i just keep thinking deep in me it will turn up but i kno its not going to at the same time >.<, i just totally ignore it and ive been trying to read books none stop escaping from reality and the implications they have on me. :S i just hope things get easier